


Yoko's Kissing Problem

by bmouse



Category: Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann
Genre: F/M, Het, Humor, Slightly Left Of Canon, no true pair
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-18
Updated: 2012-04-18
Packaged: 2017-11-03 21:39:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/386242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bmouse/pseuds/bmouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A buxom, universe-saving, badass sniper gal... who can't seem to get to first base.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Yoko's Kissing Problem

It was bad enough that she'd been such an idiot and missed it. She’d missed it completely by never even taking the shot, as if the general air of emotional-stuntedness that billowed around the Gurren Brigade in dramatic clouds had finally got to her. God, it sucked. She thought about him and felt like she was floating under that horrible ocean - the space inside her chest compressing tighter and tighter. This was a different pain the second time around, wasn't the same pain but it was familiar and she was familiar with what she tended to do when neck-deep in it - kill a bunch of things and then go hide.

The School and it’s peaceful chaos of lost shoes and permission slips was maybe the most beautiful chunk of her life. It was like being allowed to sleep whenever you wanted after a lifetime of segmented nights. Back at Littner it had been nightmares and then being on watch, with more of the same around the Gurren-fortress because by then she was the old hand and the kids needed their sleep more than she did. At the school she’d put down roots but maybe put them down a little too deep, buried her sharper bits in the warm loose dirt behind the shed and with it went some of the awareness she had for sussing out danger. These feelings were dangerous, after all. That's how she'd missed him and then he'd gone and died just like the first idiot..

Yoko wasn't going to hide this time. She wasn't going to throw herself face-first into anything either but the ArcGurren was in a stable orbit, her ganmen was mostly repaired and she felt like she could handle dinner for two, with some flowers on the table. Except there didn’t seem to be any takers. Coy sat a little out-of-practice on her now but she knew she was still a looker and there were enough new faces on the crew that she didn't have to worry that any old reputation would scare them. There were so many different people in the world. It was a joy even now just to look at someone her age who she'd never seen before and think about the odds they had to throw over to have survived, a walking proof of miracles.

A change of tactics worked OK at first. There was a guy with soft curly bangs who did inventory on the zoo deck and when she leaned strategically on his desk and mentioned "so I heard the kitchen finally got the hang of coffee" he had his head screwed on right and took the opening. He was nervous the next day, cup unsteady as he poured too much, which made her melt a little like it always did with the shy types and she lined up her best smiles and jokes until his hands stopped fidgeting and his cup stopped leaking fat brown drops over the side.

When he got settled enough to talk it was all about the indexing program that was used to sort the animals and how he was writing something that could organize the tables into a book that would have information about every animal on the planet. He was probably showing off a little but anyone who could understand and improve on pre-Emerging machinery instead of just poking the buttons and hoping nothing broke deserved their props. Yoko tucked her chin on top of her steepled hands and got ready for the long haul when he got into the meat of the algorithm - gesturing, and scribbling in the air. His nondescript brown eyes were flashing and the flush in his cheeks was pretty to watch but behind her smile her mind was already breaking everything down into a six-week curriculum. Things were getting more complicated and to thrive her kids needed a foundation of this stuff, as early as possible. Who the hell knew what Leeron and the others would cook up by the time they graduated?

“Yoko-san?” She must have frowned because the torrent of words had stopped. She re-wound a little, useful when her fuel and ammo readouts went by quickly in the status window in battle. Also parent-teacher meetings. “Ah, it’s nothing. I was just wondering how you would translate the data? The south continent still has their own character set, you know?” His coffee was long-cold when they left.

The universe was on her side tonight. A bright star cluster was softly drifting from behind the planet streaking lavender and blue down the bare steel corridor to her room. This was probably as close to mood lighting as she could get given the ship’s austerity. What was taking him so long? Her hand was dangling down subtly angled towards his as they walked, naked and lonely-looking.

There was her door, the light grid was working now, cheerfully scrolling “Littner, Yoko <3”along the door and throwing bright little anti-shadows on her date’s face. There was a chunk of nebula floating behind his ear. She turned neatly on her heel, tilting her face up a little as he… As he… Just freaking stood there, Argh! A few seconds ticked by. Seriously!? Yep, the ‘Right Moment’ was totally DOA. Frozen, she couldn’t seem to move her feet, it’s like they were both trapped in an awkward time bubble watching the walls fade back to grey as the nebula was swallowed up by the ship’s rotation

There was a cough.

“Ah Yoko-san. I’m sorry but I, that is, I think I’m not…“ He looked shamefaced and hey rejection, it happens, but it was the relief in his expression had her fingers cramping into a fist. Politeness generally dictated a fake smile and “Ok, see you later then!” at this point. Affixing said smile to her face took so much effort she completely missed the tail end of his excuses so by the time it was ready and stretching her lips he was high-tailing it down the hall.

Gently, she pressed her finger to the lock. It obliged with a hollow-sounding click, Yoko sighed. With the great restraint of a mature woman, she waited until he was probably out of earshot to slam the door.

Now Yoko wasn't born yesterday, she could read the signs and now it was a matter of shaking the linchpin of rumor mill by his tacky purple shirtfront until whatever bullshit they were saying about her fell out. Arc was still just a bigger kind of village and this was depressingly like the time Lina and her bratty sisters floated a story about how she always smelled like gunpowder and kept live rounds in her bed.

Alric was ankle deep in Ainzer’s leg hydraulics - the only part visible off his rolling mechanic’s tray was a pair of outrageously dandyish shoes, but even this sacred occupation didn’t spare him for long. When a pointed throat-clearing didn’t yield immediate results she asked “Are you holding any wires?” and hearing a vague negative yanked hard on the tray until he slid out sputtering accompanied by a small concert of scattering bolts and shims. Give him this - the man didn’t lose his cool.

“Ah Yoko-san! To what do I owe the splendid sight of your-” true, with him on the ground like that it was a hell of an angle. Yoko yanked him up by the arm.

"I seem to have this problem." That, however got an immediate reaction. The tassels on Alric’s loafers suddenly sprinted into a slot of utmost importance that required his full attention. Yoko could feel her lip creeping dangerously up over her teeth. If one more otherwise capable guy was going to shuffle his feet in front of her today it would be rubber bullets for everyone. Suspicious were further confirmed when he started fidgeting before she even finished the rundown.

“That is, ah, Yoko-san you’re practically a living legend and so it’s no wonder many men would find themselves a tad… intimidated.” he started. 

“That’s not it though, is it?”she sighed. “Stop it, this whole ‘trying to spare my feelings’ bullshit, OK? Just spill”

“In that sense, those who were brave enough to try and hold on were both exceptional. An ordinary person might, question their ability to shine next to the stars of history…” the verbose bastard trailed off. Then his nose scrunched up a little and maybe his eyebrows lost their perpetually sarcastic upsweep but for a moment his face looked so eerily, uncharacteristically earnest she knew he was about to say something really horrible “Or as the pattern suggests, to burn out just as fast.”

“Oh. So that’s it?” she was the one looking at her feet now. Yep, same shoes - red with yellow stars, graying at the bottoms with hangar grime and the dust of distant galaxies.

“Pretty obvious huh. Don’t I feel dumb now?” she slapped her hand down over his shoulder, feeling the flinch through his tacky shirt.

“Though, ya know, we gotta solve this. I’m not giving up getting laid because everyone’s a superstitious dumbass all of a sudden” Alrick made a suspicious choking noise but recovered quickly enough, shifting gears smoother than her hover scooter - from ‘shocked’ to ‘suave’ in 3.5. “Darlin’ Yoko-san you know you’ve only gotta ask and…”

“Uh-huh, no way” Tempting, more than a little tempting but there was a reason she didn’t go for the ladykiller types anymore. All that posturing had an expiration date. Besides, dating someone whose morning beauty routine probably took longer than hers was what the kids would call a dealbreaker and Dandypants seemed like he was born to hog the bathroom mirror.

She pushed him away firmly, but gently. “You know someone sees us kissing and you’re gonna have half the place following you around to see how you croak and the other half taking bets on it.“

Seemingly nonpulsed he danced away. “Ah well then, your next ‘target’ so to speak- ” Yeah, no way that would work, the combined force of their cynicism alone... “-should be someone so wholesome and safe as to make the possibility ludicrous.” He tapped his teeth with a nail, somehow making the gesture look elegant. “Or the complete opposite - the type who takes danger drinking and brings it back shitfaced. Wait a little while the gawkers will get bored of the first or dizzy and overwhelmed keeping track of the second and by then Rossiu will have invented some new hellish form of paperwork and nobody will give a damn about your love life.”

“Well I tried ‘wholesome’ yesterday and no bites.” she said.

Up went the eyebrow. “The engineer fellow? “ 

Damn the hippo-grapevine went fast. 

“Well “ he mimed sweeping his thumb over a scanner “ door number two then.”

Yoko sighed, yeah a sane woman would have called it quits by now but at least a crazy plan of action was better than doing nothing.“Except your brilliant plan’s got a big flaw. What if Mr. Danger gets a bill from karma the day after I lay one on him?”

“True” he paused, thumbing thoughtfully through artfully arranged chin hair “but tell me, what’s karma’s stance on immortals?” Raising his hand, he mimed swiping at someone, curling grimy nails into exaggerated claws. Useless theatrics as usual, it’s not like she didn’t know who he meant.

\----- ----- ----- -----

Nobody had ever asked her but if pressed Yoko knew she didn’t believe in providence. A sense of wonder, maybe at their shared audacity, this was what descended on all bands of desperate people, to fill them with purpose and brace their minds against impending death. Only that could explain the bonds between the people on the Arc. How one of the people she would risk her life to protect was technically, an unnatural construct and practically, an escaped convict with mitts like a sharkbear whose only friends were Simon, Enki and a battlecleaver. How this was the person she might have to kiss.

Except she couldn’t find him. Viral wasn’t in the hangar wrenching on Enki, wasn’t trailing after Nia, wasn’t crunching the small bones that came with the meat in the mess, wasn’t practicing some stupid manly maneuver with Simon in the training bays and there pretty much ended her understanding of him. She gave up and pinged Kinon on the radio. Kinon saw all and reported to Rossiu and together they sent out squads of freshly-scrubbed fanatically efficient ensigns to deal with any problems, god help them all.

Viral had been fooling everyone pretty well, sleeping and eating and fixing up the Arc like the rest of them, even smiling faintly or what passed for it whenever Nia was around, though of course Her Highness’ loveable ditziness had that effect on everyone. She would defend him, she appreciated what he had done for Simon, but they weren’t friends. When she put any thought into it surely some heaven-forsaken little village had had Enki for their own personal devil. Surely again there had been squads of...people, not humans but not things either, that had sat in the barracks of Lord Genome’s Old Teppelin City and waited for friends to come back whose bones she’d left unburied on the sand. 

When she had come to Kamina City and seen how integrated things were under Simon’s government, it was honestly a shock. The town around her school and been small and...less so, and she didn’t exactly like what that might say about her. Now, well, she didn’t want to be the bitter vet, to have the war be her only point of reference. Improbable as it may seem, if one day a girl with horns and a tail came to her classroom, she knew deep down she wouldn’t turn her away. 

Kinon pinged her back. He was in the lab and Yoko having thought through it felt, somehow, loads lighter about the whole thing. She rolled back the door. Bent over the console with his shaggy hair in his face he still couldn’t pass for human.

She made noise as she approached, it was only polite. Immediately around Viral five of the seven consoles were on, scrolling through what looked like Lord Genome’s research notes. A words-on-paper machine was burbling softly in the corner. The beastman waited until it finished spitting it’s perforated roll, which he folded carefully into a nearby pile before turning around to peer at her through his bangs. 

“What are /you/ here for?” 

Yoko was overwhelmed with a sudden urge to shuffle her feet. Behind her back she dug the nails of her left hand a little of the way into her palm for focus. There was probably a pretty low-ass chance of him agreeing to go through with it but hell, Yoko was a sniper. She stood, as if floating behind her own shoulder, and listened to herself talk. Laying out the situation, lining up that long shot. 

When she finished, she had the satisfaction of seeing him pretty well flabbergasted. ‘Defense is down, move in’ said the little battle readout in her head. She took a couple steps towards him.

Tact wasn’t really her forte but considering what she was asking, and how a small voice in her mind insisted that she was using him, she felt obligated to try.  
“Have you… um.. ever” she started.

He cut her off. “Yes, don’t be stupid.”

Now that operation “Respect The Horrible Beastman’s feelings’ had successfully been attempted Yoko remembered he didn’t put much stock in politeness either. Presumably both yellow eyes traversed her from ponytail to boots. Nobody knew if he still had a left one, actually. She might be in a unique position to find out, somebody probably had a betting pool. Her thoughts were scattered like a cloud of bubbles until the sound of his voice cut through them.

“Well why not? I suppose you are pretty, for a human girl. Though you’ve got the wrong kind of ears.” with eerie speed he raised a paw and flicked the top of her left ear with one long leathery finger. Just as quickly he pulled away, eyes suddenly steady and serious “and I owe you, for that time.” The time Anti-Spiral Nia had tried to kill him and she had reluctantly saved his life.

She drew herself up, finding she was only a smidgen shorter “Nevermind my ears. You know, I’ve got a whole new set of rounds to test.” she said, mostly joking.

“Wouldn’t help.” He was probably the only person who could up the ante like that and mean it, crossing those crusher-paws against his chest and smirking like he could read her mind. A sly little slice of a grin started and spread out to both sides of his face, white bone glinting between thin lips. Crap. The teeth, she completely forgot about the teeth.

A little shiver, three parts excitement and one quarter disgust ( oh Yoko, you’ll kiss anything once, won’t you) ran down the backs of her legs.“Don’t worry.” he purred “I’m not some dumb kid, I won’t fall in love with you over just one kiss.” There was something sardonic in his expression, like he was daring her. 

“Allright then.” 

They’d been talking a while. All through the labs clever fingers moved a little more slowly than usual, glasses glinted from assistants looking, but trying not to seem like it. Almost tentatively her hand went off her hip, but she was a brave woman so it then slid firmly up his chest, past a stupidly sharp collarbone and into his thick, soft hair. Unnecessary, he was already leaning forward to meet her.

Far away, someone dropped a beaker. They didn’t spring apart. 

"Do you hear that?" she was whispering for some reason 

“What?” he snickered, warm puff of breath in her ear. "The sound of your reputation going down in flames?" 

“Nah. I think..” it came to her suddenly “I think that’s the sound of Kamina laughing his ass off.”

A bright grin skittered across his face to be replaced by a transparently wistful expression. "Aaa" he agreed. 

Proximity, she was amazed to realize, removed a lot of the species barrier. She could read him as easily as Alric, as Simon. What she could read was amusement, fatigue, and maybe a touch of sadness with impending brooding and damned if she’d let anyone make that face after a taste of the charms of yours truly. Riding the adrenaline jolt and a little shocked at her daring she grabbed him by the hand, refusing to flinch at the unexpected leathery texture.

“Well it's lunchtime, ya know. Come on. Ever had coffee? I hear the cafeteria finally got it right.”

**Author's Note:**

> My friend Zazz said "hey nobody will ever date Yoko now, the last two guys she kissed kinda died horribly" and this was born. Blame her. Not to be taken seriously in any way. (Though the thought of Yoko and Viral being buddies gives me suspiciously warm and fuzzy feelings).


End file.
